Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
