Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Randomize
