she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
