You work out of a Hotel?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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