i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
