i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
