Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
