Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Alive.
So much puke
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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