In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
