if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
