perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
