so that wasnt chicken after all
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
