so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
