His pubic hair was longer than his dick
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
