Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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