I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
