if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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