once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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