Cold hands, warm shart.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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