it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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