Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
