brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
