Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
