We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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