ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
