If that was your dad, he is hot
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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