Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
