Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
