Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
