My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
