Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
