butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
