i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Randomize
