So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He passed out mid-signature
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
