I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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