I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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