sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
