I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
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