New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
