I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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