He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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