belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
