i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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