3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
