distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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