Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
