Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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