I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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