I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
