the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
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