Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just want nice things and good sex
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
