Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
