Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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